


just Thomas

by orphan_account



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Gen, Please Don't Hate Me, Whelp, also major spoilers for the death cure, okay in one like sentence it seems kinda newmas-y, sorry - Freeform, the end is really weird, this is just an idea that came int my head, this is just angst, you could pretty much put any pairing on this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 04:11:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1252288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas used to have a lot of names. Now he's just Thomas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just Thomas

**Author's Note:**

> welp that was like the weirdest summary ever oh well

It hits him hard and fast, the first time. He and Minho were working on something, he can't quite remember.

"Can you give me a hand, Tommy?" he'd said, so casually, as if that's what he's always called him. But it wasn't. That was Newt's name for him.

And now Thomas has his eyes closed and memories are flashing before them. A bruised face, bloody clothes, blond hair. Wild eyes watching his every move. Muscled arms pinning him down. And words.

_I hate you! I've always hated you!_

_Kill me or I'll kill you_

And the last words he ever heard Newt say.

_Please, Tommy. Please._

But also he remembers other things. Laughter, soft hands brushing his neck, a smile that had once made him believe the world was okay again. And even more words.

_Really glad you're not bloody dead, Tommy. Really, really glad._

He's not sure how it happened, or when it happened, but he's now curled up in a ball on the floor, whimpering. Minho's approaching him cautiously, a worried look in his eyes.

'Thomas? You okay?'

_No, I shot one of my best friends in the head._

'Yeah, fine. Don't know what came over me. Just tired, I guess.' He can tell Minho doesn't believe him, but he can also tell that he doesn't particularly want to get into it right now, and feels relieved. (He's also hoping Minho doesn't notice the tears in his eyes)

'Maybe you should take a break. Maybe sleep for a while?' Minho suggests.

Thomas agrees, but he wishes he didn't. All of his dreams are haunted with images of mad eyes and a gun in his hand.

(Minho never calls him Tommy again)

***

The second time, he's eating with Brenda. Frypan's managed to make something similar to burgers. and they're actually surprisingly good.

'Pass the water, Tom.' Brenda says, just as casually as Minho had. It feels like someone's punched him in the stomach. His hands start to shake, and he manages to drop the water container, disturbing others around them, and getting a groan of indignation from someone. ("We just collected that water this morning, shuckface. Watch out next time!)

'Thomas?' Brenda asks, with the same concerned look in her eyes that Minho had.

'It's nothing. Slippery hands, I guess' Thomas says, and mutters an excuse before abruptly getting up from the table.

Another confused 'Thomas?' follows him out the door, but he keeps walking.

He reaches a place he found a long time ago. Secluded, a place where he can scream and no-one can hear him. Blue eyes fill his vision, and a constant mantra of 'I'm sorry' is playing in his head.

_I only ever cared for..._

Teresa had once been his best friend, and he had shut her out. Made her think (probably) that he hated her. Let her _die_ believing he hated her

Suddenly it all hits him. How many people they've lost. And how they haunt him still. He still hears Ben's screams. Still see's Chuck's front drenched in red. Still dreams of guns and funny accents whispering in the wind. Still thinks of a thin body pinned under debris that was too big to shift.  


'I'm sorry' he whispers, even though he knows they won't hear him. Or anyone, ever again.

 


End file.
